Rough Time of Year

My sweet friend (kindred spirit), Melanie, has been on my mind constantly since Thanksgiving. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and miss her, but this time of year is especially tough. I have thoughts like, "two years ago today we were talking about ____" or "at this time two years ago I was on the phone with her for hours and hours" and once in a while even the dreaded "maybe I should have said or done _______ ". Grief is an odd thing. Just when I feel like it's really been 2 years, a memory of her surfaces that takes me back to the sad place I lived in for so long after she died. Of course I believe she's better off in Heaven and I am glad she isn't suffering, but I still miss her and wish she were HERE. I want to call her and talk about cooking, the kids, what we are wearing to church, who's bringing what to dinner, deeply personal stuff, surface stuff that no one else wants to hear us gab about. I just miss everything. I wanted desperately for her to be whole and healthy, to finally get the help she needed. She did get all of that and so much more. Just not in the way I thought it would happen. She is sitting at Jesus' feet being loved, truly loved and is completely whole. What more could I want for her? I want nothing more for her...but I want more for me. It still hurts so badly and I have that void in my heart where her friendship once lived. It is better than in the days after she died, but the pain is still present. Sometimes I wonder if it's a permanant part of me. I used to write down conversations I wanted to have with her in a journal, but lately, I haven't had time. The thoughts come so fast and so often that I'd never be able to write it all down. Sounds crazy, I know, but it is what it is. Two years ago this Christmas, Melanie choose to end her life on Earth... And I am still angry... But mostly sad...and missing her every.single.day.

My baby turns 13 today!!

Poor Hatley woke up sick this morning. He did manage to eat some tomato/basil soup and a slice of cheesecake (both favorite's of his). Oh, I forgot about the sticky buns and coffee he had for breakfast. Clearly, he's not THAT sick. He took some cold medicine before going with Jeff to the Dallas Star's game tonight. Hopefully, he will make it through the game without feeling too poorly. I will post pictures "through the years" later this week. I carefully selected my favorite photos of him and planned to scan the older ones so that I could post them while he was gone tonight...my scanner had other plans. It won't scan. aargh! So frustrating. I'll have Jeff look at it and get those photos up soon.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON!!!

Precious Joy

My sweet friend and neighbor, Precious Joy Bowman, died yesterday morning. I spent a lot of time with her, especially the last few weeks. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently and couldn't be home alone for long periods of time. Her son asked me to take care of her while he was gone to Europe. I made sure she took her medicine, had something to eat, walked her to the bathroom, watched TV with her, etc. He also hired someone to spend the night with her in case she fell trying to get to the bathroom. She woke Mary up around 4:45 Sunday morning because she couldn't get a deep breath and her chest felt tight. Mary called me and then called 911. We were in the ER with her until they asked us to step out because she was "losing her heartbeat." Forty-five minutes later the doctor told me she passed away. I had not been in this kind of situation before...being the one to hear those words from the doctor...the one to tell her family...the one to take her bag of "things" back to the house and straighten up her house...the only one with details of how her last day went...and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I loved Ms. Precious very much. She was like a grandmother to us. Many, many times she would call to tell me to send one of the kids over to pick up a cake (with her homemade chocolate icing) or fresh yeast rolls (THE BEST) to go with our dinner. She made the best "peanut butter roll" at Christmas. I was supposed to help her this year so that she could show me how to make it. Precious was an amazing woman. She was 91 yrs old but until just recently, seemed not a day over 75. She still hung her laundry out on the line and took care of her flower beds. She was a gem for sure. I hope I have half her energy when I am old. I will miss her so much.

My Boy

Hatley shooting turtles and snakes

Hatley doesn't like the bigger horses, so he rides Fancy. He can't get Fancy to do a thing, but he tries. We call him "Festus" when he's on Fancy. Hatley is just as stubborn as the mule.

My Girl

I just love this picture of Mikayla! She was helping my dad with his horse, Angel. Angel had never been saddled and ridden so they decided it was time. Mikayla was able to ride her for a little while. Angel was very calm and only got excited when Hatley shot the 22 about 100 yards away.

FREE STARBUCKS!!

Go vote tomorrow!! After you vote, stop by Starbucks, tell them you voted, and they will give you a FREE tall coffee! http://www.starbucks.com/
I won't be able to "cash in" on this deal because I will be working the polls from 6am-7 or 8pm. Ya'll enjoy your Starbucks.

*Written by my husband*

First Baptist of Bolivar before we started working


Debris we cleaned out of the church

I recently returned from a trip to Bolivar Peninsula (near Galveston, TX). This trip was an amazing adventure for me on several different levels. First, this trip was a major breakthrough for me. I was always saying I would like to go on a mission trip yet I always had a reason I couldn't go. God compelled me in the words of James 1:22 to "prove myself a doer of the word and not merely a hearer of the word."
The second breakthrough for me was two-fold. I took my son with me and on this trip I saw him become a man, a servant of God, equal with me. The 2nd part of this breakthrough was personal. I did not meet my biological father until I was 21 years old and I didn't have a DAD until I was 10 years old. Personally, I struggled with raising a son because I didn't have a man to raise me in my early years. God broke down the walls between me and my son on this trip. I can now begin to build a new legacy that I can leave for my son.
The last thing that God has done in my life through this trip is to open my eyes to the never ending hurt and devastation that people go through here on earth. We accomplished amazing things while down there, but there's so much more that needs to be done. I will be going back and we could use many more volunteers. If you can swing a hammer or use a shovel, we can use you. If you would like to be a part of a future trip to Bolivar, please contact me or Thirst No More ministries (http://www.thirstnomore.org/). Consider being a doer and not just a hearer and see what God will do in your life!

Some of the destruction





Before and after pictures of the church

Hello Big Tex!

Last week the kids and I went to the State Fair of Texas with my dad. We get in free with our homeschool tickets and he gets in free on Thursdays for senior citizen day...all we pay for is parking and food. It's kinda become an annual tradition for us. This year the King Tut exhibit is in Dallas and they had this really cool sand sculpture for it-


Mikayla likes to try weird food at the fair so this year she tried fried alligator. It was gray! ICK! She liked it and that's all that matters.

My girl and me


Hatley likes the car show. He would rather sit in sports cars all day than ride the rides on the Midway. Crazy boy.

Overwhelmed and Amazed

The past week has been sooo busy for me. My husband and son are heading out tomorrow on their first mission trip together. They will be helping clean up the mess left by hurricane Ike. Since they are working in an area still without electricity, they must take food that doesn't need to be refrigerated or cooked. We don't buy alot of packaged foods, so that was a new shopping experience for me. I can't believe what all you can buy in a can! Is it just me, or does meat in a can seem gross to anyone else? I know we have all eaten tuna out of a can, but anything else just seems nasty to me. Anyway, I have been all over town (meaning every suburb of Dallas) trying to find rubber boots, work boots, gloves, hardhats, masks, jeans, socks, etc. I thought I could just run to Walmart and get most supplies...wrong. They don't carry hardhats or rubber gloves or more than 2 pkgs of N95 masks per location. sigh. Home Depot was my next destination and while they had most of what I needed, they did not have everything. Did ya'll know that boots in a men's size 7 1/2 are nearly impossible to find? Not kidding. My son wears an 8 in tennis shoes, but needed a smaller size in boots. Kid sizes generally stop at 6 or 7 and men's start at 8. WHAT?? What about the poor pre-teen who needs a stinkin' 7 1/2??? Someone needs to do some more detailed market research on shoe sizes. Wanna hire me? I can tell you EXACTLY what stores don't carry this in-between kid and grown-up size. (HELLO, Target, old friend, you failed me) I did finally find him some boots yesterday at Walmart. Had I looked at Walmart before yesterday? Why yes, yes I did. The Walmart I went to first did not carry his size in a boot that was reasonably priced. I found them at our local Walmart for what I thought was a fair price considering he will have them totally trashed by the time he gets home.
Several times this week God has amazed us. Why are we always amazed when He blesses us? Especially in times we are being obedient? Shouldn't we EXPECT everything to work out for our good? Well, I didn't. I got caught up in worrying about how we will pay the bills with Jeff being off work for a week, how will we pay for all of these supplies, will I find everything they need??? Of course I not only found all they need, we had TONS of supplies donated from our home school group, church (we are just visitors and they helped!), and friends & family. I am talking about enough for them to share with others. Jeff and I were discussing finances a few nights ago and were pondering where the money will come from for gas, food, etc. We recently committed to not using the credit card AT ALL now that we have no debt. We prayed, decided it was going to work out fine, and went to bed. The next morning, the first call I received was a family member saying they are sending a check! I then took my son to math class and a friend gave me a Walmart gift card for the trip! The total of these two gifts was more than we needed!! God is amazing. We are not worthy. Again, why do I worry?
I have learned several lessons through this experience. 1) I need to trust God because He is trustworthy even when (especially when) I have no idea how He's going to pull it off. 2) I am not the "behind the scenes, quiet servant" I have always thought I was...I was u-p-s-e-t that no one (read- husband) thanked me for working so hard and organizing so much...I am a B-R-A-T. Plain and simple. It's ugly and I don't like it. 3) I am proud of my guys for doing something I would not do. This will be dirty, hard work and they are excited about it. Who am I kidding? Wouldn't all boys like getting dirty and possibly seeing snakes and alligators while serving the Lord?
Please pray for our family this week. For the boys while they are working hard and for us girls as we stay home. (slumber party Wed. night..woo hoo!) We are under attack and several battles have been lost already in preparing for this trip. We don't want to lose any more...we want to be joyful and victorious!

Ultimate Lasagna

2 pound dried lasagna noodles (if you don't have a DEEP pan, use 1 lb

Extra-virgin olive oil

2 pounds ground beef

2 pound ground Italian sausage

1 onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, sliced

3 carrots, chopped

2 stalks celery, chopped

2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil

1 tablespoon chopped

oregano leaves

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 cups red wine

2 (28-ounce) cans tomatoes (recommended: San Marzano)

3 tablespoons heavy cream

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 quarts ricotta cheese

(2 containers) 2 eggs, lightly beaten

1/2 cup grated Parmesan

salt and freshly ground black pepper

1 pound mozzarella cheese

shredded Grated Parmesan and mozzarella, for topping

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Cook the lasagna noodles in plenty of boiling salted water until pliable and barely tender, about 10 minutes. Stir with a wooden spoon to prevent sticking. Drain the noodles thoroughly and coat with olive oil to keep them moist and easy to work with.
Coat a large skillet with olive oil, add beef and sausage and brown until no longer pink, about 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. In a food processor, combine the onion, carrots, celery, garlic, basil, parsley, an oregano. Process until pureed, add to the pan with the ground meat and stir to combine. Stir in the flour. Add the wine and cook until it has reduced by half. Stir in the tomatoes and add the heavy cream and the cinnamon.
In a mixing bowl, combine ricotta and the parmesan. Stir in the eggs and season with salt and pepper.
To assemble the lasagna: Coat the bottom of a deep 13 by 9-inch pan with olive oil. Arrange 4 noodles lengthwise in a slightly overlapping layer on the sauce. Then, line each end of the pan with a lasagna noodle. This forms a collar that holds in the corners. Dollop 1/2 of the ricotta mixture over the pasta, spread to the edges with a spatula. Spread 1/2 of the meat mixture over the ricotta. Sprinkle 1/2 of the mozzarella on top of the ricotta. Top with a ladle full of sauce, spread evenly. Repeat with the next layer of noodles, ricotta, sauce, and cheeses. Top last layer with noodles, sauce, shredded mozzarella and Parmesan. Tap the pan to force out air bubbles. Bake for 1 hour. Remove from oven. Let lasagna rest for 30 minutes so the noodles will settle and cut easily. Cut into 2-inch squares and serve.

Why I haven't blogged lately

I am really bummed because I had several posts swarming around in my head and the photos on my camera, but my photo software won't import them! I am thinking of deleting the program and reinstalling it...do ya'll(all 2 who read my blog) know if doing this will delete photos already on my computer?? Somebody HELP!

Parenting is so FUN!

I finally got to say one of those "parent sayings"...ya know, like "I walked to school in the snow, uphill BOTH ways!" My sweet girl is writing a paper comparing adoption and abortion and came to me and said, "Can I just finish this as I type it? Writing it out is taking soooo long." She was a little put out that I told her that she must continue to write it out on paper before typing her final draft. I informed her that when I was in school, we didn't get to type anything out on a computer, we had to actually WRITE~WITH A PEN~EVERYTHING. Imagine the torture I went through. Seriously, did they really expect that of us? How did I ever manage?

Spinach Artichoke Dip

ingredients:

8 oz pkg. cream cheese (softened)
14 oz frozen artichoke hearts(canned is fine)
1/2 C. spinach frozen, chopped, drained
1/2 C. mayo
1/2 C. parmesan cheese
1-2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp basil
1/4 C. mozzarella cheese, grated
1/4 tsp garlic salt
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350

Cream together mayo and cream cheese. Add parmesan, garlic, basil, and garlic salt. Mix well. Add the artichoke hearts and spinach. Mix until blended. Pour dip in pie plate(I use my Pampered Chef pie stone) and top with mozzarella. Bake for 25-30 minutes until top is browned. Serve with toasted bread or tortilla chips.

Stuffed Poblanos

Chicken Stuffed Poblanos

Cook 3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breast(seasoned with salt/pepper), dice. Saute onion(about half an onion) and two cloves of garlic in olive oil until tender. To diced chicken breast, add 1 cup monterrey jack cheese, 2 tbls cilantro, onion/garlic, and diced tomatoes.
Roast poblanos in broiler until blackened. Place peppers in a ziplock bag and steam for 5-10 minutes. Peel skin off. Cut open lengthwise and scoop seeds out. Stuff each pepper with chicken mixture and top with more cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until cheese is melted. YUM!!

Making Grandpa Proud

My father-in-law passed away recently and his wife passed his rifle down to Jeff. Hatley has been itching to go out to the country to shoot it. We went to my parent's farm on Labor Day so that he could try out the gun. Jeff and Hatley went out in the woods to look for something to shoot. Jeff lifted up a piece of tin behind the cabin that is on the backside of my parent's land. They were surprised to find a nest of copperhead snakes!! They killed 8 total. I have never met anyone more afraid of snakes than Grandpa Riggins. He would jump if he saw one on TV. He would be very proud of Hatley for using his gun to rid the world of some snakes!!

Politics on the Farm

My dad has always followed politics very closely. His goat had babies a few months ago while the democratic party was still trying to pick a candidate. Naturally, their names had to reflect this...


Hilary and Obama- with their mother



My dad is quite the comedian and obviously NOT a democrat!

Peace and Chaos

I love the song Something Heavenly by Sanctus Real (see on my playlist). We've had this CD since it first came out and I love every song on it, but this song just stands out to me. I finally got to ride in the car ALONE (rare thing) and heard the words, I mean really heard them for the first time. I teared up, knowing this phrase so describes what God's been doing in me lately: "It feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace." WOW! He's been teaching me and stretching me in new ways and I fight it at times. Why do I do that? I know His way is best, yet I fight. In my mind there's this chaos because I don't know where I'm headed, but in my heart there's peace because I know the ONE I am following. So simple, but so complex at the same time. Chaos and peace don't sound like they belong together, yet they do.

GREAT DEALS tomorrow at Old Navy

Ya'll know how I like a bargain (and like to share the deals)...tomorrow at Old Navy, kids jeans are only $7 and adults $12. Those are GREAT prices!! Happy shopping!

Back to School

So, school started back for us on Tuesday. Since we homeschool, we can start and end whenever I choose, but since I like to take nice long breaks at Christmas and spring break, I typically start earlier than public school. I am still working on my history lesson plans and will start that subject on Monday. I am excited about teaching both of my children out of the same history book this year. For the past six years we have participated in a university model co-op so my children have been in classes with other children two days per week. This year M has two classes outside the home and H has one. I am not teaching at a co-op this year. I LOVE teaching, so I am a little sad about not teaching a class to other children (especially the K-2 graders), but am so excited to have more time to spend teaching my own children. M can pretty much be on her own at this point, but H still needs some guidance (a swift kick in the pants is more like it). Anyway...I was shopping with my husband yesterday and witnessed the horror of "back to school shopping." I heard moms complaining about "being out ALL day with these kids," boys griping about which shoe they want "cause this one is cool, that cheap one's not," and girls whining about which jeans back her butt look big, etc etc. etc. It was making me tired just listening to the complaining. I used to think my kids were missing out or were being cheated out of the "great" opportunity of shopping for new stuff just before school starts. HA! I loved back to school shopping as a kid and have lots of fond memories of what I wore the first day of school. every. single. year.

I probably spent, oh.. let's say... 100 hours or so trying to decide which outfit was perfect for my first day of high school. Let me just tell all of you that don't know where I grew up just how NOT a big deal fashion was in our school...

1. Most of us went to school together since kindergarten (my class was largest with 24)

2. We all lived in the country (I'm talkin' WAY out- 20 min. to the nearest grocery store)

3. Most guys wore wranglers, ropers, big belt buckles, and always had a dip in their lip(yes, it was allowed in class, but gum was not)

4. The closest mall was Tyler or Dallas (at least an hour for one, 1 1/2 hours for the other), so shopping was limited.

So, shopping "out of town" for school clothes was a BIG deal. Almost as looked forward to as Christmas. As a matter of fact, my BFF and her mom would often make plans with my mom and I to go together for this "out of town" experience. It was big-time people. We couldn't wait to get to school to show off our new clothes. Yes, I know how shallow this sounds, but it's all we had in the country. I made it my mission to be as far away from hick as I could in my dress. Other than the time I dropped some $$$ to impress a cowboy, but that's another story for another day. sigh.

Back to my story, I am so thankful that my children can wear pj's to school or clothes that have paint on them(M would wear them in public, but I won't let her), or whatever they want. They don't care AT ALL about fashion or brands. I even had to send one back into the house Tuesday to iron the pants he/she had on to wear to class. It was so obvious they needed to be ironed, but my kids just don't notice that sort of thing. So, while many believe homeschoolers are being cheated socially, that's just not the case here...However, we are doing an injustice to our children by not teaching them to be obsessed over fashion and looks. I just don't know how they will manage in the real world.

I am so proud of my "super hot chili" plant. I love to plant flowers/plants and do so every spring, but I have had less than good results with vegetables and herbs. My tomato plant is pitiful(no need to show ya'll that picture), but my peppers are fabulous! There are at least 70 peppers on this plant waiting to turn red. Sure they are super hot, and I probably won't use most of them, but it's satisfying all the same. If any of my friends in the area like hot red chilies, let me know...I'd be happy to give you some.

My first entry

I have been thinking about starting a blog for over a year. What kept me from just jumping in? I am somewhat of a perfectionist and alot procrastinator. There are several blogs I read EVERYDAY. I have learned so much about other's views of life, family, ministry etc. just from reading blogs. I have been so blessed by reading other ladies' stories. I finally decided that just maybe God will use something from my life to bless someone I don't even know. How cool would that be?